ALM

Words whether written with warmth or described deep in darkness may reflect our inner truths giving over to heartfelt emotion thus defining our humanness.

NEW HEAVEN NEW EARTH

 

What if we loved without condition

What if we held no bias

What if we lived with freedom

What if we refused to be pious

Would we suffer from lack

Or feelings of life amiss

Or would we be wealthy perhaps

In healthy happy bliss

The sun provides it's rays to us

Ne'er hoping to hear

Your gratitude and thanks, though

It continues through the year

The ocean provides us breath

Which we cannot live without

It never requests a penance

Freely giving removes all doubt

The forest trees share life as well

Taking in our waste

Never fearing hurtful pain

At our thankless passing haste

Are we not more than trees?

Can we not shine as sun

Does water overwhelm ability

Of our race with fear be done 

I would see an earth

Where hurt we do no more

When humans choose to love the other

As heart's sweet paramour

No more a passing judgment

On an unknown passer by

No more a fear of loss of love

From those dear whom we keep nigh

Nay instead we would see

The heart of human life

We would cease from blaming guilt

And end our worrisome strife

Oh what a world we would be

If love we choose to do

Accepting beauty in imperfection

Not toll presumed we're due

This would be a planet I

Would never want to leave

And perhaps our hearts would join

To share in this belief

All my love dear sweet world

May I add to you

Ne'er again blaming within

I remove all guilt from you

I seek life and peace and love

A hippy I nay not be

Merely a survivor who

Wants love so to be free

But give I must this love of which

I speak unto you

Share I shall this warming joy

That fills me through and through

And perhaps on this day

A change will come to be

The new heaven the new earth

Forever more we love us free

Words With Rhyme

Straight-from-consciousness word vomit occurs, for me, when I'm in the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. A compilation of Morbid Muses and Lovable Lines can be found in this collection of oddly timed and certainly not perfectly rhymed, poems, most of which were written accidentally. 
Words in the light or the dark of night written in plight not spelled with spite, make up my Morbid Muses. They are not for the faint of heart.

Words in the light or the dark of night written in plight not spelled with spite, make up my Morbid Muses. They are not for the faint of heart.

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The Grey

Oh The dullness
I hate the grey
Alas The fullness
Within the fray

Beckons back
It's former friend
When life was horror
Was clear the end

A solace came
Within my plight
When believed I the world
Was black and white

And now with peace
Comes certainty
And this I fear
Sets me free

Gilded cage is
But warm still
Comfort of known
Are now feelings ill

Peace is new
Territory uncharted
Fear is constant
And the race to dart it

Know I not
How to give over
To peace entirely
Without waiver

I hold back still
And thus remain
In limbo between
Hope and pain

But hope is dark
When fear seems right
And I'd prefer
Shut out all light

Leave me to
My black abyss
Around I'll twist
Within its fist

Struggling free
Wanting no such thing
The chase it seems
Has my attention stringed

Does this make sense
Nay not a lick
But who am I
To then resist

When as I do
It seeps back in
The despairing need
For me to fend

Away my demons
And revel in
My strength once more
To choose to win

But am I not
A loser still
When illusions
Cause me greatest thrill

I could choose
Merely erase
All makings
Of devil's face

No more he'd be
I would be free
Without the need
To plead and bleed

And bleed and plead
And plead and bleed
No just remove
And freed I'd be

So what gives
This I must ask
Why do I avoid
This simple task

And choose instead
A life of pain
Is there something more
I seek to gain?

Do I believe the only way
To live a life
Is to bleed away
And then survive and
Believe I'll be
Someday once more
A happier me

I'm deluded
Unnaturally
To such an extent
I cannot see

What lies directly
In front of me
The answer to all
My essential key

Along I prod
Myself to trod
And hope to God
How very odd

The one with the other
Do not coincide
So perhaps my mind
Lives life denied

Forget the truth
Avoid it so
It ne'er will come
So dine. It's crow.

I digress
I forget why
I started at first
Upon this cry

I lie awake
And stare above
Thoughts flood in
Removing love

Overwhelm my soul
They steal my breath
Heart pumps faster
In my chest

Day in day out
It never ends
The ongoing train
He's not my friend

Abusive. Angry.
Yet always right
Just ask him. I
Give up my fight

So I'm here
Staring at my wall
Letting it come
The darkness... Fall

What am I to do?
What am I to say?
Could I force him truly
To stay at bay?

Weak surrender
Settles in
As I give over
Myself to him

He guides my thoughts
Down the hole
Black and dark
Secretly untold

I obey
As I give in
The creep takes over
I'm deep in sin

Lying still
Dare not to breathe
Hopefully now
I'll fall asleep

Him

I dare not gasp
I dare not breathe
For into my lungs I'll take
The waters cold and frigid
That I pray to but
dare not break

Its coils encircle me
The death squeeze of a snake
The pull grows stronger even now
My last breath perhaps I'll take

I feel him, smell him, taste him
I breathe in his love of death
I believe I can't see life
Without binds to him in debt

He holds on strong while pushing hard
Causing confusion running deep
I fear to run to sleep to hide
I dare even still, to weep

I instead lie in loneliness
Content at being numb
His hold he e'er has on me
And my word indeed is 'mum'

I do not speak for fear that I
Will not care to retract
Or if I do and then cannot.
I'll Suffer loss'  impact

So tell me world thou cruel cruel place
How am I to live
And endure the conditions here set
When life they do not give

Nay instead they encourage
A mere mortal hell
That on earth must be survived.
Dust, then, bidding farewell

So death I seek as solace
To this fury filled rotten place
Death and the grave being
Peace to the wearied slave

I, no more, seek bondage
To that which I despise
Though e'er I run I shan't escape
What despises me now dies

Rest in peace lover
Forever sleep my friend
I hope when you awaken you'll
See no more my sin

I never had intentions
for pain to come you by
And yet through and through it all
The fault of all is mine

A hard pill to swallow
A tasteless gruesome death
To believe so strongly only
To be told not to hope

I did. I do. I always will
But pain no more I seek
Freedom from this coiling rope
That brings me to my knees

Now I doth stand on dry land
The surface my heart will break
I cut from me, him, who would be
That coiling rope-like snake

Love me forever, dear
Even in death to us
Remember me fondly through the years
And hatred goes to rust

For where love is Fear cannot be
And that is where you'll find
Me and all I hope to be
The life in, the world of my mind

Goodbye my lover, goodbye friend
I hate you none the more
I only e'er will love you still
Until I return to mortar

May God bless you may
he keep you ever loved
May he look down onto your soul
And pour light from above

Soothe your darkness heal your pain
Show you once more a life
That lived to its fullest can
Be a creator of  light

You needn't steal another's fore
You have one of your own
A flame now burns inside of you
Your heart is now love's home

Love is light and light is love
Until the end of time
And as for me I do seek
To have light and love be mine.

oceansettingsun

Desire

If life and pain go hand in hand
Who would want to live
If heartache is all one will gain
When heart they choose to give

Then lock my heart from this world away
And may the depths swallow up the key
For love and life and life and love
Can exist for certain without me

And although I have
My share of pain been through
The love, the laughter, the ever after
I'd always dreamt come true

Was worth it all, for I,
In those times, believed
And to believe in faith and trust
Was for me the only need

But life takes flight and changes in
The blinking of an eye
Right when you have it within your reach
Love mysteriously passes you by

Leaving you empty, black and hollow
As an unkempt forest tree
And unto the earth's ends you travel
For that feeling again you seek

For the memory of a look, a breath,
The smallest hint of a smile
And even simply to reach out and touch
Beauty so real, yet vile

Fore with a touch to the skin
Or a glance into those eyes
Desire for eternity will burn in you
With pain as a disguise

Fore desire and pain are one and the same
Until the end of time
And for me I pray day after day
That desire will no longer be mine

Fare the Well

When life gives way to selfish hearts
And pain creates a shield
The fallacious lies and cruel darts
Keep the hurt unhealed

When the hurt there left to rot
Begins to fester deep
The owner of these dark thoughts
Cause others around to weep

They pride their-selves with their gain
Ill-gotten though it may be
Those unnumbered of whom were slain
Never their worth shall see

Fore deep within the hearts of man
Evil doth there reside
And though it weren't for a merciful hand
Their faces they'd surely hide

Fore who could show such utter shame
Without one second thought
When all of whom their hurt have maimed
Lie waste to selfish naught

His heart is hard and cold like ice
He feels no empathy
On his face are expressions, nice
Though evil they tend to be

I no longer wish to desire
Hatred, hurt and pain
I am no longer work for hire
When my work is all in vain

My heart is full of virtue
My mind seeks peace and calm
My mouth speaks only words of truth
No reading of my palm

Could ever show my sacrament
To a world I hope to save
Fore from my pain I choose to vent
In hopes for a road to pave

That others may upon it trod
And find love in empathy
To never let their brother fall
To be one in him and him in me

I cannot be who I will be
When with him I choose to stay
So I will hope myself to see
On this toll road I must pay

So now I choose to drive around
Though longer the trek may be
It is worth grace and peace, found
When my road is only me

Farewell succulent, Farewell poser
Farewell unto thee
Fare thee well thou hurtful user
Fare thee well without me

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Why?

His wavy hair his piercing eyes
The "sky", no? "Ocean" blue
Doth compel and cause a stir
Burning me through and through

Sate me, lace me, tie me with
Black satin ropes and string
Tell me that I am your love
And my pleasure your heart doth sing

Fore when your deep oceans stare
Right through my very soul
Each cell and follicle of hair
Ignite my body whole

With fiery passion, smoky steam
And feelings set a-whirl
My desire as a crying fiend
For myself to you unfurl

Take my body, take my mouth
Take now all of me
I cannot stand, nor walk or crawl
I am weak in the knees

It's as if your mind doth have
The power of night and day
To change my moods, to set the tone
To melt my heart, to say

That I am within your will
And my pleasure is at your hand
Fore if you so do, you can choose
To allow me not to lie but stand

And I will be helpless beneath your plan
And you may scold, or hold my hand
Fore as a mind controlled, I must be told
To show you are the man

Why doth my mind race so
When thinking thoughts as these
Why do I not find pleasure in
The independence I tend to seek

Perhaps you are my weakness
Perhaps love is blind
For when my body nears your touch
All thoughts are lost in time

So now I smile to think such things
As I know them naughty to be
Because, of course this girl was yours
And that was a happier me

But can to a man I belong
When alone I tend to be
Fore my head which is so strong
Takes from his dignity

I think perhaps beauty
Is truly but skin deep
And those forces which draw me in
Will soon put me to sleep

So here I rest upon my breast,
Now looking to the sky
Perhaps my hearts restlessness
Is my answer why

Damnation

Hell, oh hell, this mortal hell,
I'm forever doomed to live
Is worse than death, and it's my wish
To have it all end here.

Sadly he has grown still worse
And day by day by day
The boy I knew the boy I loved
Has gone his downward way.

Spiraling deep, falling fast
Into that dark abyss
The black hole, the crater in which
One's end is not amiss.

I fear for him, my love, my boy
As his life now meets his fate
Can he not be, again my sweet
Before it is too late.

I beg and pray that he may stay
The narrow, hidden course
And that a faith in God above
Would save him from the worse

But dare I say, dare I think
Of life on the brink
A life, his life, my boy's life
Forever a tumultuous strife

I thought once as a girl naïve
That my boy's life I could save
Hysterics caused me to dry heave
As I obeyed him like a slave

But what master is so cruel
And thoughtless causing pain
Disappointing and forgetful
Who'd care none if I were slain

Dying on a roadside or
Crying on marble floor
For my life, my heart of gold
Is shown simply to the door

What a callous heart of stone
Or perhaps no heart at all
Maybe just a blackened hole
Impenetrable cement wall

What child turns into such a man
What kind of unloved shame
Would cause one to grow up to be
Seeker only of wealth and fame

Not caring who or what he tramples
While on his merry way
For if you help not to achieve his goals
You aren't worth the time of day

The days when I would have to give
My soul then loved, was allowed to live
But God forbid I be tired and drained
For upon my head was all blame laid

To him I was but an object he
Could use for sucking dry
Fore if my goodness was lacking, then
All would go awry

What kind of life, what kind of place
In which doth such exist
Where mortal man to another can
Lacking moral her wrist doth slit

For she did not willing go
To this place so dark with creep
She was dragged and dragged and dragged
Till her soul was caught too deep

And once her darling soul he had
As garbage she was tossed out
Left only to lie and rot, she
Now lacking all and any clout

lovesmelovesmenot

Paradox

I'm in the room with you
But we're a million miles apart
I hear your breaths in and out
The beating of your heart

What is this distance we have made
Why are we at this place
Pretending the other doesn't exist
When still I see your face

I'm hurting due to beliefs
Which ring ever true
My faith and trust replaced with fear
Am I losing you?

In my own minds world
Where fantasies I create
The nightmare scenarios, they
Threaten our life to take

We are real I tell myself
Over and again
Threats come not nigh us
We aren't marred by sin

But the pain and lack of lustrous breath
Beg me question how
We have stooped so low again
Because out, we cannot bow

Pride keeps our heads held high
Arrogance our worst plight
We'd rather sit in silence than
End this pointless fight

Fore we are haughty and a two
-some formed deep in hell
We dare not let the other win
For fear that we will fail

But do we not fail ourselves
When we feel we must compete
Do we not both lose out
Is this not defeat?

I'm sorry and I love you
That's all that we should say
And finally at last lay rest to
This quarrelsome weary day